26th March, 2006

The Day I Was Stupidly Jealous

I’m aware how purile this makes me sound, but I’m so envious when other women announce their pregnancies before they hit the twelve week mark. Full of excitement and hope, it’s like they can’t keep it to themselves anymore – a feeling I remember all so well. But it just makes me realise that they can’t have ever experienced a miscarriage, else they wouldn’t be so quick to announce – and that just makes me miserable, depressed and – if I’m honest – deeply jealous.

I don’t know what kind of person that makes me be, and I’m not even sure I want to know who she is.

V xx

[Edit] I’m sick. Bear with me if you’ve dropped me a line and I haven’t replied. Am offline as much as I can be at the moment.

Posted: March 26, 2006 at 5:04 pm | Comments (13)

13 Comments

  1. Gravatar

    Awwww. :( It so makes sense that that makes you jealous, you experienced a pain a lot of others never will, so it’s only natural to feel envious.

    Hope you feel better soon! *hugs*

    Comment by Sasha — 26 March, 2006 @ 11:54 pm

  2. Gravatar

    Aww *hugs* hon. It is perfectly understandable for you to feel that way. It’s not fair that anyone should have to go through that.

    (I didn’t mean to upset you :()

    Comment by nicoleross — 27 March, 2006 @ 3:22 am

  3. Gravatar

    I wouldn’t worry about what sort of person that makes you. To me, it makes you nothing but human. It’s natural to be envious of those that seem to have it so much “easier”…

    TBH, I get jealous of pregnant woman fullstop – regardless of when they announce it, but that’s because I can’t have kids of my own. I don’t like the fact that I get jealous, infact it just makes me more miserable, but I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t always a pang of envy there… I don’t think it makes me a bad person though, it just makes for a very unfortunate situation.

    Comment by Claire — 27 March, 2006 @ 6:08 am

  4. Gravatar

    Oh, Nicole honey, you didn’t. Honestly. :) And I’m really, really happy for you!

    Claire: I was going to add the proviso that I know how lucky I am to be able to get pregnant at all, even if I’ve miscarried twice – so you’ve reminded me of that. Thankyou, love – and I hope my selfish comments didn’t unintentionally hurt you, either. *hugs*

    Sash: Thanks, lovely. *hugs*

    V xx

    Comment by Vixx — 27 March, 2006 @ 8:01 am

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    Vix: No need to apologise, your comments were neither selfish, nor hurtful. hugs back

    P.S. Hope you feel better soon :o)

    Comment by Claire — 27 March, 2006 @ 8:51 am

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    **hugs** poor you!

    Comment by stelly — 27 March, 2006 @ 9:22 am

  7. Gravatar

    I have never been pregnant and as such obviously never had a miscarriage, but I often wonder if it’s sensible to announce pregnancy so early? If/when I get pregnant, I won’t be announcing it until it’s pretty darned obvious. Maybe I’m just a cynic though.

    Comment by Jem — 27 March, 2006 @ 8:04 pm

  8. Gravatar

    [hugs]

    Comment by Bes — 27 March, 2006 @ 8:18 pm

  9. Gravatar

    I am in this club as well. On that rock… I know what you mean.

    Comment by Valerie — 28 March, 2006 @ 5:47 pm

  10. Gravatar

    having a baby scares me, well, I better explain what I mean, I’m scared of what might happen, defects, things like that, being disabled, I dont know how I would feel or cope… does this sound horrible? I think it does myself…

    Comment by stelly — 29 March, 2006 @ 10:33 am

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    Martin: I work with kids with disabilities/learning difficulties, so that’s not something that’s ever bothered me. You shouldn’t let it bother you, either – the odds are firmly in favour of healthy, happy babies. :) And even if yours should fall into the small percentage that have problems . . . would that really make you love your child less? Of course not. :)

    V xx

    Comment by Vixx — 29 March, 2006 @ 5:43 pm

  12. Gravatar

    “And even if yours should fall into the small percentage that have problems . . . would that really make you love your child less? Of course not. :)”

    Exactly, I am/was a disabled baby and I’m not so bad…really! ;)

    Comment by Claire — 29 March, 2006 @ 7:21 pm

  13. Gravatar

    Yer your both right, but hey, just thinking about bring a life into this world and support it scares me :)

    Stelly

    Comment by stelly — 30 March, 2006 @ 8:45 am

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