31st July, 2007 (7:26 am)
The Day With The Sunburn (4)
You’d be so proud of me. We’ve been here less than two days, I’ve been wearing factor 30 sunscreen AND sat under an umbrella from 1pm onwards (I take sunburn very seriously), and I’m lobster red this morning. Like, glowing. Like, DYING. Aaaaargh. I feel horrible for all the times I’ve laughed at M now (although at least he’s red too!)
I’ve managed to wangle some online time because we’re currently awaiting a move to our new room. The current one came with a sitcomable amusing view, complete with generator and concrete wall. Today is the earliest that they could move us. I don’t think that the new view is all that much better (a car park instead of a generator) but still - it has to be an improvement. The food is also CRAP - I’m talking inedible. And from me, that’s quite a feat.
That said, the hotel is gorgeous, the weather is stunning, and I’m having so much fun with my boys. :)
So as all three of us need to stay out of the sun today, we’re going to take a walk and see what’s around. After all the room-switching fun, obviously. I hate walking, obviously (too healthy) but am actually looking forward to it.
If anyone can tell me why the FUCK there’s a Z in the space of the Y on this keyboard, I’d be grateful. How can it be a QWERTY layout if it’s fucking QWERTZ?
Comments: (4)
28th July, 2007 (2:27 pm)
The Day With The Rush (4)
We’re leaving for a week in Majorca tomorrow. I have barely packed, the house looks horrendous, I’ve got half a bathroom (we’re having a new one fitted whilst we’re away, so for now M’s attempted to clear up and remove the tiles, all of which has not gone well) and still have to get to the store for a few things before we leave. Aaargh!
And to top it all? I have some super happy amazing news. The pain’s come back. It’s hit me four times since my surgery, twice of which have occured in the last three days. It’s nothing like it’s been before, but almost feels like the run up to the true attacks - the ‘pre-pains’, I guess. As it’s all in my guts and not ‘down there’, I’d been trying to tell myself that it’s not connected. I seemed to be getting them shortly after big, hefty meals, so I’d convinced myself that maybe this was something to do with being fat (well, ish) and not eating properly (which is what I’d told myself was the problem the two years leading up to these problems I’ve been having). Apparently not. The most recent wave came an hour after a round of ham sandwiches, and no-one’s going to convince me that that would have kicked off something like this. I think that, with my womb being stuck to the front wall of my guts and stomach, that’s why the pain’s there and not further down. If I’m bleeding there, it stands to reason that there’ll be pain by there, right?
Anyway, I’m going to start keeping a note of when these things hit me in the hope of finding a pattern and hope to Christ that nothing happens whilst I’m away. I’ll be taking a paper bag (the only way I can manage the pain myself is to breathe my way through it) and my super-strong painkillers along with my sunscreen, just in case. :p
Typical, though. Pah.
Anyway, wish me and mine (S’s like a bottle of POP - he may explode before we get anywhere near a plane) bon voyage! I’ll try to stop and say hi if there are affordable facilities in the hotel, but if not, I’ll catch you on the flipside. Think hot, warm (well, nothing can be worse than the weather at home right now - or our last holiday for that matter) and pain-free thoughts, everyone! :)
Comments: (4)
24th July, 2007 (8:02 pm)
The Bit With Potter (7)
Right then . . . was anyone else as underwhelmed by the final book as I was?
Comments: (7)
23rd July, 2007 (4:03 pm)
The Bit With The Lie (6)
When my friend asked what I thought of her new designer glasses, I told her that she looked gorgeous when, in actuality, she looks like Sally Jesse Raphael.
I still can’t quite decide if that makes me a wonderful friend or a really, really bad one.
Comments: (6)
21st July, 2007 (8:16 am)
The Day With The Other Mothers (10)
I have absolutely zero interest in mommy/baby communities.
I tried so hard at first.
I know that this isn’t the first time that I’ve discussed this here, but I’m so tired of it all. Tired of the thinly-veiled snubs that I’m a full-time working mum, the inferences that I’m selfish, that I don’t care enough about my son, that if I couldn’t devote 100% of my time to him I should never have had him. I’m tired of fighting off the horror when I explain how I only breastfed for ten days (I’d explain why, but why the fuck should I have to explain myself?). And when I ever enter into a discussion about how, as the breadwinner - and by a considerable margin at that (I earn over three times as much as M) - taking a lengthy maternity leave or returning part-time was never an option, all I have is shocked silence. Someone once said that “Oh my God, it’s like you’re a fifties couple in, like, reverse”. If that’s what does it for you then yeah, I guess we are.
I’m not quite sure what people think about me or what essence I tend to convey, but I’m simply not a ball-busting career girl. Yes, I have a good job and yes, it’s a senior position in a field that I love. And no, I don’t think that - even given a choice - I’d ever feel quite comfortable quitting. At the end of the day, it’s the only place in my life where I’m Vixx first, and a mother second. Not every mother will admit to it, but by Christ, I need that place - I need to be me, undefined by a child or a man or anything other than my own actions.
So, for a little time, I tried my own. I wanted a community that didn’t bitch-slap mothers, only supported them - no matter their choices, their beliefs, their ideas. And although I really did meet some wonderful people there, I was simply left wondering if I was alone in this: if I was the only mother in the world who was every bit a woman along with it.
With the crap and discrimination that women have to deal with regularly in the workplace (working mothers are singularly the most discrimination group in the workplace in the UK (source)), you’d think that - Christ, somehow - we’d manage to pull together on this and support each other instead of constantly battling to pull each other down. I’m so tired of having to deal with other women’s - not men’s, but other women’s - fucking judgements.
My son will grow up knowing that his mother worked fucking hard, from the moment he was born, to give him what he needed. That she didn’t take a single full week’s vacation from work for two and a half years because all of her leave was used up caring for him when he was sick, care during his school holidays, battling with dentist and Health Visitor and Speech Therapy appointments. That sometimes she hated having to juggle it all, but she did it, burning the candle not only at both ends but at several places in the middle, too - all for him. Everything she did was for him.
Comments: (10)
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