24th April, 2008 (9:52 am)
The Day With The Imagination Killer
A month or two ago we converted our spare third bedroom into a Playroom. The name makes it sound far grander than it actually is - it’s a room just a shade larger than a postage stamp that’s crammed with all of S’s plentiful toys and games - but it means that I can essentially keep my lounge clear of strewn Ben 10 and Spiderman figures and forty-five thousand toy cars. We all know that I’m a ball-busting, career-orientated, non-breast-feeding, selfish non-SAHM, so it should come as no surprise to you that I fucking hate it when my house looks like the aftermath of a Mattel factory explosion. By eight o’clock each evening, S knows that he’s to clear away his toys to make my lounge habitable long enough for M and I to mess it up ourselves.
It’s stuff like this that makes me wonder why kind of parent I am. I don’t think either of us are strict but we are particular, and I’m determined to bring up a likable child. Sometimes I think that that means I often expect too much of this little human - that my expectations are too high. But . . . surely it’s never too early to teach your kids good manners? To instill the values you want them to grow up with? I hate kids that whinge and fuss and whine, and it’s important to me that he’s polite and kind and thoughtful. Consequently, we have a handful of house rules that essentially revolve around those values - sharing, thinking of other people’s feeling, consequences etc. - and none of those can be achieved on a 24/7 diet of the Cartoon Network, Jetix and Nickleodeon.
I like TV. TV is good. M and I watch A LOT and there’s no denying that it’s an EXCELLENT babysitter when there’s stuff to be done. That said, we do monitor what he watches, how much he watches and where he watches it. I believe passionately and irrevocably that children (read: pre-teen) should not have televisions or computers in their bedrooms, and that films should - generally - be watched as a family in order to stimulate discussion and debate. I know - sounds fucking lame, doesn’t it? - but I really believe that. For instance; the other weekend I bought him the Transformers film. It’s not a kids film - not by a long shot - but we watched it together, snuggled on the couch, and S asked questions about space and planets and aliens - even war, for Christ’s sake - and we had several great discussions off of the back of it. If S takes away nothing else from his childhood, I want him to always ask questions; ask the who, whys and wheres. There’s nothing more amazing that a natural, healthy curiosity. And that can only come from an upbringing that nurtures that, along with structure and variety and lots and lots of encouragement.
So when we’re home - as we are today (there’s a nationwide teachers’ strike) - we try to adhere to a daily schedule. In fairness, we’re not too hot on this - things happen, plans deviate - but the thinking behind it is that I don’t want him spending fourteen hours a day glued in front of the TV. It changes daily depending upon what we have to do, but we usually do stuff in half hour blocks - some TV time, then playtime upstairs, reading, computer time - and, today, a trip to a REAL LIFE police station as he thinks they’re superheroes (bless) - in order to keep him stimulate and entertained.
But lately? It’s all about the computer. ALL. THE. TIME. I didn’t used to mind him visiting the CBeebies website as there’s some lovely stories on it, it’s age specific, and I think using the computer is fab for developing his fine motor skills and hand/eye co-ordination. But now it’s all about Ben 10 site - which offers a big fat zero in terms of educational content. All he does is listen to the fucking theme music OVER AND OVER AGAIN and stare at the pictures. There’s very little interactivity for a four year old.
Which means the computer has become simply a TV substitute, merely another mindless screen for him to stare at.
Sigh. You can’t win.
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I’m not a parent so I don’t really have a frame of reference here, but I think you’re doing an amazing job with S. You’re teaching him right from wrong (if only other parents could do the same for their asbo-collecting offspring) and you’re taking him to some great places and giving him lots of wonderful experiences; he has so many opportunities to use his imagination and explore the world around him.
Having said that, the Ben 10 website is absolute shit.
Comment by sharon — 24 April, 2008 @ 11:00 am
You’re not lame, you’re right!
We have a lot to work on here. I wish that E would pick up his toys every night like S does but as it is now, it’s an every day battle. “But, Mama, I can’t pick up my toys, my hands are too small!” At least he’s creative in his excuses. It doesn’t help that our house is small and his bedroom is right off the living room and that he can literally stand in his doorway and watch tv (and has before, sitting on the floor playing and watching tv). But we do take the time to do school around 11am or so; so tv and play time are in the mornings, then school and lunch, then “nap.”
Go, Vixx, you’re awesome.
Comment by valerie — 24 April, 2008 @ 1:21 pm
I wish someone had taught Karl to clean up his toys when he was a kid :P
Comment by Jem — 25 April, 2008 @ 10:21 am
I have the same view on TV and such as you do so I don’t think it’s lame or anything. When I was growing up, I was outside.all.the.time and I fear that kids are relying too much on TV and other things (video games) and they don’t always get that social interaction or just the experience. There’s nothing wrong with expecting your child to pick up after himself/herself. It’ just good practice!
You’re right though.. you can’t really win. I’m so worried about when I have children and what new thing will be out there.
Comment by Ajemi — 25 April, 2008 @ 3:55 pm