Be still my heart - I’m so proud.

One day, baby - when Mummy’s joined the fake band in the sky - all these air guitar games will be yours. Take good care of them, son.

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We had so much fun. Like, a crazy amount of fun. I’m sure most people reading here have been to one Disneyland or another (the particular flavour to the left is Disneyland Paris, although if someone dropped you in the middle of a Disney Park you’d be hard-pressed to identify specifically which one, know what I mean?) but - I swear it - you won’t ever properly experience Disneyland until you take your kids there. It’s . . . well, I might as well go for the cliche: it was magical.

I visited Disneyland during my stay in California many, many years ago, but that was just a totally different thing. Although I love Disney (no, really - it’s my secret shame: all you have to do is play the end of Beauty and the Beast and I’ll burst into tears and prove it), I don’t recall our Disney trip being anything remotely like what I experienced recently. Not a word of a lie, we didn’t step foot in the overly-cutesy Fantasyland the entire time we were there - no, honestly. Why would we? At that time it was about the adrenalin and drinking and talent-spotting, and my friend K and I weren’t remotely interested in Tea Cups or Small Worlds. We didn’t watch the Parade, or cuddle a character, or do anything you’re supposed to when you go to Disneyland. We were too busy trying not to throw up on Space Mountain and following cute guys around the park. (An aside: the drive home from Anaheim was an experience. At that time I was too young to drive a hire car in the States, so K had to take the drive back to LA on her own, me sat fidgeting next to her. Our friend F had given us very clear, detailed directions to get us there and back safely, only neither she nor we realised that the freeway would be closed for maintenance that night, sending us out on a rolling detour to the darker parts of CA. On top of getting lost, it put several hours on our already lengthy journey home and we only stayed awake by singing - loudly - the complete tracklist of Oasis’ Morning Glory into the night air around our convertible Mustang. Quite a feat, considering we both sing like tone-deaf banshees being stabbed with hot pokers).

Anyway.

Even now, almost three weeks after coming back, S talks about our time in Paris - obsesses about our time there. And no, this might not sound impressive - three weeks? So?? - but trust me . . . five-year-olds generally have the recall of brain-damaged goldfish. Only this morning, as he padded into my bedroom, all tousled and tired and clutching his soft Mickey Mouse, the first words from his mouth? “I miss Disneyland, Mummy.” That was before he said hello, before our good morning kiss. Disneyland has touched him in a place so special, so deep he may never forget it.

Heh. Isn’t that awesome?

Oh, it wasn’t that fantastic - not from a parent’s perspective, anyways. There were 459065 billion over-priced shops and restaurants charging crazy ass prices and if I ever hear the Happy Halloween Song again I’ll punch Halloween Mickey in the face. The queues were stupid, and three separate rides - Crushers’ Coaster, the Tram Tour and Big Thunder Mountain - all broke down at the exact same time we had Fast Passed or queued ready to get on. Although my French is passable I nonetheless struggled across the language barrier, and it’s hard to keep your temper when rude, selfish children are pushing into or past your gentle little boy. I broke my heart when our friends left - worse than when they left for France to begin with, worse that when I left them after staying with them in July - and their absence on the final day was felt all around us, leaving me sad and empty, like a deflated party balloon.

Yet when I look back now, downloading video and uploading photos, my stomach swells with . . . it sounds stupid, I know, but it swells with pride. Little S queued so patiently, behaved so impeccably, gaped so wordlessly, agog at the bright, gorgeous faux world set against the searing, flawless china-blue sky . . . well, it’s hard to feel anything but. I simply feel enveloped with love and happiness and it reminds me, for all the humdrum day-to-day stuff that makes me yell at S and scream at M, there’s nothing I love more than spending time with my boys. I’m so blessed to have my gorgeous little boy, my kind, selfless husband, my funny, generous friends. So for every time S looks back at the magic of this trip, recalls the time he met the ‘real’ version of his most cherished cuddly toy, or shot the stars and skies on the Buzz Lightyear ride, or any one of the other hundred things he did and loved . . . I’ll be doing exactly the same.

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Ah, man, it’s been so long, hasn’t it? I suck donkey balls: you know it, I know it. A gazillion things have happened, some good, some not so good, some middling it with a meh, but the upshot is I’m still alive - give me a woo and a hoo - and the bad gunky - whilst not completely abated - is definitely on the retreat.

It would take far more time than I actually have available right now to update you on everything, so I’m going to be lame and do a quick bullet list. Yeah, that’s right. I suck and I’m lazy.

• We went to Disneyland Paris! (I know - it’s old news because the photo already gave that away but play along). I will report on this properly for prosperity, but suffice to say the trip was glorious and helped to de-gunkify me, as well as restore my faith in friendship. Those of you who have been reading here for some time may recall that we went to Majorca with ‘friends’ when S had just turned two years old. BIG. MISTAKE. My advice continues to be that you should NEVER go on holiday with friends if you’d actually wish to remain friends - trust me, I learned this the hard way. That said, our friends in France insisted that we meet up and do the trip together and I’m so, so glad that we did. Their son is BFF with little S, so it meant that they had each other when we hit the parks, and then the Mummies and Daddies had each other for drinks and laughter when the boys went to sleep. :) It was perfect and I loved every single second of it from seeing S actually cry with joy when he met Pooh bear to watching Jack and Sally from the Nightmare Before Christmas lead the Halloween Parade to seeing M’s face the first time he stepped off Space Mountain. Only down sides were the ridiculously hideous Tower of Terror ride (wtf? HATED IT), my riproaringly sore feet and the fact that I came home with the flu.
• Yes, I had the flu. Not a head cold or the sniffles but the real flu, the flu with the shaking and the sweats and fever and complete inability to get warm. Thought I was going to fucking die at one point. I was out of commission for over a week and felt like death for most of that time.
• M’s employers are asshats. Those of you who follow me on Twitter and had intermittent updates during my absence will already know that, but since being promoted in September and moving to a new section, they’ve changed his shift pattern three times. This is beyond frustrating when you have a kidlet to organise and another household job to juggle and has meant we had to reschedule/miss/have him take leave to do things we’d booked months and months ago - like our Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon tickets, for example, and also the Christening of our BFFs’ (we’re BFFs with both my friend from University and her husband hence the seemingly misplaced apostrophe :)) two kids. They seem completely oblivious of the havoc it causes. It also means that we’ll be M-less on Christmas Eve day, Christmas Day day, Boxing Day night and New Year’s Eve day. Harrumph. :( (An aside: he did his first ‘proper’ night shift last night, coming in today at 8am. He didn’t fall asleep as much as trip into bed and pass out. Bless).
• This is incredibly remiss of me, but I bought an iPhone about two months ago and failed to tell you. My bad. *hangs head* Grax convinced me with his vlog summary, and I haven’t been disappointed with my purchase. The battery life is pants (although marginally improved by fiddling about with the settings like brightness, 3G etc.), it’s crap that you can’t send or receive picture messages direct to the phone (have to go via email instead) and the fact you have to manually import Contacts (can’t save anything to SIM - everything’s kept on the phone, which is a pain in the ass if, like me, you swap cards to a cheaper phone when you’re out on the beer in case you lose the phone in a drunken stupor) is bollocks but other than all that, it rocks. I’m saving about £15-£20 a month from my old package on Vodafone, and I’m able to browse online a lot more. Score.
• Dead Space arrived. I didn’t get a freebie copy like everyone else on the Community Day did (clearly they didn’t like me - sob :() so I had to buy it. That said, it rocks - even though I am only an hour or so in but am already running low on fucking health and ammo. Maybe the fact I suck at the game is why EA didn’t send me a copy?
• I’ve started about three million new layouts for this place and all are shit. My angel hasn’t had new clothes since late 2006, which is a crazy long time to go without a facelift considering I used to change layouts here as frequently as my underwear. Yet nothing looks right. I did come up with something and then found a frighteningly similar layout at Perfection. That person clearly did theirs before mine so I do not call shenanigans, but ffs, that was the only layout that seemed okay! So back to the designing board I do go.
• I hate 5th November. I loathe fireworks. I say it every single year but I do HATE the fucking things. M was working so I ended up having to fulfill his promise to our son and take S to an organised fireworks display on Friday night. I spent the evening trying not to cry each time they BANGED and avoiding the sweet but decidedly odd little eight-year-old who took a distinct shine to me.
• My writing has stalled again. Am perpetually procrastinating. The way I’m going this book will only be published posthumously - and only then if someone much better than I finishes the fucking thing.
• Finally, S sat with me again and observed the Armistice Day two minute silence. I’m so proud of the boy he’s becoming.

That’ll have to do. My fingers are cramping from the hitherto lack of keyboard use and I think I’m boring myself, which means I’m definitely boring you. To close, I have to wish Val a happy pregnancy, Tanya a happy wedding and Teesee a belated happy birthday. There’s probably someone or something I’ve forgotten so if so, please congratulate/link yourself in my comments and we’ll pretend that it’s from me, mmkay?

Finally: how’s you? What you been up to?

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More pictures from our trip to Disneyland Paris can be found at my friends-only Flickr page. :)

Also, my employers fucked over my work BFF, failing to give him a job he not only deserved, but would absolutely kick ass at - a role working to me. I was still shaking with anger half an hour after finding out that he didn’t get it. I know I’m biased but wtf - a blind chimp could see that he’s too talented for the job he’s in. Now he’s going to find a better job elsewhere, quit, and tell them to kiss his ass - and that’ll suck. Who else will I have lunch with? :(

I know I’m typing shit, randomly venting, and no-one cares about my Konami rant either. Clearly still gunkified, aren’t I? :p Tell me - what’s new with you? Good weekend? Get laid?

© Vixx, 2003-2008. Powered by WordPress, sarcasm, Galaxy chocolate and PG Tips.

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If you are reading this material in your news aggregator and this feed has not come directly from furious-angel.com, the site you are looking at is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact me to report it and together, we’ll beat their asses down.