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28 Dec 04
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The Day I Coughed. A Lot.

Added at 11:30am and filed under Uncategorized

I’m writing this from my bed, propped up on six pillows and trying my best to breathe without rasping or coughing lime-green phelm (sp?) all over the screen. You gotta admire the timing of this; the day after buying my laptop I’m incapable of getting up and getting to my desktop.

I’ve been riding a cold/flu for several weeks now and everytime it seemed as though the cold was moving down onto my chest and upsetting my asthma, things would settle down again and I’d avoid a chest infection. But this time no such luck. From yesterday evening, I’ve been struggling to catch my breath and last night was horrible. Unable to lie down and incapable of sleeping thanks to a ugly hacking cough that woke me everytime I started to drop off – topped off with a sleep-deprived and restless son – meant that I got very little sleep. If it wasn’t for my lovely husband taking Sam downstairs very early this morning to give me some peace, I doubt I’d have had more than a couple of hours rest the whole night.

This has, of course, now completely fucked up my plans. This week was supposed to be one of hard slog, including redecorating and organising the dining room and an overhaul of that crappy, messy pit that I occasionally refer to as the spare room/my study. But since I now can’t stand up without collapsing into a hacking coughing fit, it looks doubtful. I am SO pissed off. I so rarely get time off – let alone time off with a child well enough to go to creche and be out of the way! – it’s nothing but a pain in the ass to have developed Bronchitis now. I don’t have time to sit in bed. I have THINGS TO DO, goddammit.

So, yeah. My mood is extraordinarily cranky today.

V xx

p.s. It still feels shitty complaining about anything following the horrors in Asia, BTW. Everything I type makes me feel hypocritical and ungrateful but, please, know that I don’t mean it that way, okay?

V xx

27 Dec 04
Comments (1)

The Day I Felt Too Humble To Angst

Added at 8:47pm and filed under Uncategorized

I was going to sit and tell you about my weekend and regale you with the three hour ‘ordeal’ that I endured in order to purchase my lovely new laptop, but in light of the horror in SE Asia, it feels perverse and ridiculous to do that now. I usually try my best to blanket out the outside world and let my blog be as selfish and self-involved as possible, but this time I just can’t do that. It feels wrong and disrespectful and as such, I won’t angst about my life and chest infection and how I’m putting on weight. Instead I’ll leave it here for now and remain grateful that I have a life in order to angst about.

V xx

26 Dec 04
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The Day I Was Happy

Added at 10:55pm and filed under Uncategorized

I’ve torn myself away from my wonderful son and husband (have I ever before told you how great they are?) just long enough to tell you that my Christmas – bar the period pain, head cold and perscription-drug-induced fatigue – has been awesome. Sam was a complete fucking star all Christmas Eve when we were at my parents’ house, and when he was screeching with laughter as the dog jumped up and down trying to eat bubbles (don’t ask), I wanted to die with pride. He’s the most perfect, beautiful, wonderful thing in the whole wide world. Honestly, no-one need have bothered with gifts – they could’ve just slapped a bow on my son and that would have sufficed.

Waking with him on Christmas morning and seeing his little face as we helped him opened his gifts (true to cliche tradition, he really was more interested in the paper than the gift within) was an absolute joy. I wish you could have been here to see as he shoved still-wrapped Quality Street chocolates into his mouth and rocketed away, giggling, or when he stood at the coffee table, dancing to the tune to Bear In The Big Blue House, or when he stood by his little play kitchen and pretended to drink and eat cake . . . this is why you have kids. I only wish I was coherent enough to explain to you precisely what it is to feel such love and joy and complete and utter pride when you look at a wonderful little human being that you’re helping to shape and guide.

Anyway. I’ve taken some photos – my favourite of which shows him licking a plate after finishing his Gateaux. I’ll try and get them up tomorrow some time. :)

Even though M forgot about the stuffing and chipolatas (heehee) and we avoided tradition by going for a really expensive leg of lamb instead of turkey (neither of us are keen on it), M made a wonderful lunch and it was all gut-wrenchingly perfect. To sit in our dining room with my husband and son and pull the crackers and tell stupid jokes and drink wine and eat wonderfully fattening food . . . shoot me for the rose-tinted-ness, but it was fucking perfection. NOTHING could’ve made the day any more enjoyable for me.

Sometimes I feel like my life is heading nowhere, that my priorities are wrong and I wish I wasn’t a grown-up with these responsibilities and ties and pressures. But these last few days couldn’t be further away from that if I tried – right now, I wouldn’t change me or my life for the fucking world.

V xx

p.s. Dance Stage Fusion is great even though I’ve already almost killed myself and nearly fell over onto the coffee table. And – OH MY GOD – M? He’s been playing it with me! I can count the number of times I’ve been him dance in the last ten years on one hand and, I tell you, all previous experiences did nothing but convince me that THAT MAN HAS NO RHYTHM. I take it all back. My man can MOVE!

p.p.s. It snowed! We had our first White Christmas for years and years! :)

V xx

4 Jan 10

The Day with Girl Gamers Suck (6)

Introducing my latest project – girlgamerssuck.com.
You know me. I like games. I often don’t have time to play as much as I would like – and when I do play, I’m often kinda crap – but I’ve grown up with gaming and I love it. It’s part of my childhood, part of my life and [...]

3 Jan 10

The Day I was Ill. Again (2)

Ugh. I’m ill again.
I think I recall crowing last year that I managed to miss most of the flu/coldy things floating about. My Fate God heard me, laughed outrageously, and has been making me pay ever since. Bastard. It feels like I’ve spent the last three months coughing and spluttering. I wouldn’t mind, but the [...]

21 Dec 09